The specific difference between my rough draft and what will be my final draft is that my final draft flows much better compare to my rough draft. My rough draft did somewhat of its job. It told a story and allow the readers of it to paint a picture through the words I used, but at several points, it didn't flow. At these points, the readers would have to reread the sentences to make sure they got my point correctly. My rough draft was a little bit messy at these points and the sentences didn't paint the correct picture I wanted the readers to have as well. My final draft will flow much better, will hopefully be non-messy and paint the correct pictures for the readers.
Where I made or going to make major revisions in my paper is with the content, focus, sentence structure, organization, and word choice. I made revisions in these areas and not in others because these were the areas where I could have made better decisions before and they needed a little bit more help as well. With organization and sentence structure, I moved sentences around to where they could fit better or I removed sentences that weren't important or needed for my paper. Also I used different lengths for my sentences as well. I added more content/detail to areas where the readers would need more and remove some in areas where the readers didn't as much. With word choice, I replace passive verbs and words with active or descriptive verbs and words. Lastly, I changed the focus of my conclusion and paragraph about the project so they could fit better with my paper and to be less messy.
After revising my paper, I was able to identify my own pattern of errors, but I was also able to identify my errors before writing this paper. As a writer, I know that I use passive verbs when I should have used active verbs. I sometimes don't like using commas in my sentence which then makes those sentences into run-on sentences. Also I make small grammar errors that I can't see until someone else points them out for me. Lastly, I either repeat stuff or add "fluff"to my papers which makes them longer than is need. Also "fluff" is stuff that is either non-important or isn't need in the paper.
What led me to the revisions that I made in my paper was me rereading my own paper and having my development writing professor and TRIO writing tutor look over my paper. My former professor helped me to make the revisions I did because she knows how I write and knows my weakness. She lead me to the changes to the word choice in my paper, the change in content, organization and sentence structure. My TRIO writing tutor helped me to make my revisions by pointing out minimum grammar and sentence structure errors that I didn't see and by telling me areas where I could have made better decisions either by word choice, content or showing the significance of my essay by way of foreshadow. Rereading my paper to myself didn't help me as much as someone else reading my paper but I did see some minimum errors I had in my paper.
The strongest aspect in my paper is that I do tell a story and give vivid description. I start my paper right in action. If someone read my paper, that person can follow the story from beginning to end. Also I give vivid description on the difficulty a poetry project gave me and how it helped me to become the writer I am right now and how it helped me to express my feelings. I also give vivid description into how I felt about the project and how I felt with life and the hardships I have dealt with in my life. The weakest aspect in my paper is my conclusion. The conclusion is my weakest aspect because I don't know how to end my paper. I want my conclusion to show and not tell the significance of how a poetry project has affected me and my life but it seems like I am telling it and not showing it. My tutor told me to use poetry in my conclusion to show the significance but I don't know. Hopefully by the time this paper is due, I will find out how to end my paper and make my conclusion do what I want it to do.
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